Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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