I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
