I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
