So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
