Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
His nipple licking is glorious
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