I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Floor bacon is actually really good
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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