it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
