Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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