This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
