Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
PANTIES FOUND
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