You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
