he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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