"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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