To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
