When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
