Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
