last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
