i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
