I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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