Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
