Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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