'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Two words: blizzard sex
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
