I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
