Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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