you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
