he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
