I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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