butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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