Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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