I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
