I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
