Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
