I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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