So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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