Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
this will be a night to untag.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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