So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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