Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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