This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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