is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
