its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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