he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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