in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
