I love watching others lives come down to our level.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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