: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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