I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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