I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
