i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Michael Bay diarrhea
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
