Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
