Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
