i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
